Step Parent Part 2

I feel like after reading other step mom stories that I am not alone. I never actually thought I was all alone but it is so hard to explain situations to friends or family or even your husband because they just can't fully understand what I am feeling. Hearing other's stories has allowed me to see I am not crazy and that other people in my exact situations feel the exact same way I do at times.
As I sit back and think about the last five years of my life, they have been extremely hard but somehow we are still floating and pushing through together. When I first came around I could see the brokenness in each person's heart. I tried to help Bill pick up the pieces and provide a home instead of a house for the boys.
It was very difficult in the beginning because I think the wounds had not really healed. I had to hear all the drama and was even dragged into it at times. We finally made our relationship official and I thought things would then calm down only to find out that things had gotten really bad for Roy. We ended up in a custody battle only six months into marriage. The judge ordered for my husband and his EX to go to counseling. HOLY MOSES!!!! I thought I had completely lost my mind. It was awful to hear everything that went on. It created a huge wedge between Bill and I.
But somehow we kept going and closing doors as best we could. I had to do a lot of convincing for my husband to take his emotions out and just move on. We have tried to get better at controlling our home. Ultimately, that is all you can control and all the rest will just cause issues. If you spend more time being pissed off at the ex then you miss out on the happiness with your kids.
I kept talking about this "step mom" thing with my sister today. She kept saying,"Man, you keep going on and on about it!" But I think it was liberating for me to hear other women in my shoes and it really felt like a ton of bricks was lifted off my shoulders. It felt like my voice was heard. I am not a complainer so I always try to brush things under the rug but I definitely needed this refresher.
We just have to keep doing the right thing and influence these children as best we can. It is a roller coaster ride and seems like there are so many more things we have against us but God sure has a way of sending us down the path we are suppose to be on. I always hope that He will pat me on the back someday and say Well done!!